Saturday, December 28, 2019

Gamechanger

You see my young son, I wasn't such a bright one.
My mother had to force me to get the dictionary.
Taught me to look for myself.
But you, you came out bright and just as right.
You taught yourself that the answer can be found.
That life has no bounds.
We're free and we do as we please.
The day has yet to be seized.
Carpe diem, that's the life!
Investigate for yourself, yeah son, that's right!!

Saturday, December 21, 2019

Books

I wrack my brain with these books, trying to figure out which subject to tackle next. Which part of myself to expose to the world next. And then it comes to me! The chapter I should close next. Each one of my books is a piece of me. A very important part that I want to keep close to me but always want to send out into the world to grow and be independent and important. They're my babies......πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ“šπŸ“š 

Sunday, November 3, 2019

The ride

And then you died.
And as much as I hate to admit it, I cried.
But we know how this ends soo let's begin again.
I just want to enjoy the ride.
The highs and the lows
As the tide comes and goes
The adreline rush from the feelings this ride gives me
As we teeter over the edge, waiting on the plunge
You grab my hand the moment my lungs fill with air
Only to squeeze a little tighter when I scream the whole way down
Never admitting whether or not you got scared
You're braver than me
It's obvious as I stumble to keep up
Running behind you as you walk towards the sun
The ride is over and all I see is light
Or the night
Or your shadow
Or your protection
Something that makes the end a little easier.
I'm sitting here, wiping away tears and fears
Thinking back to the beginning.
We know how it ends.
We rode it til the wheels feel off

And then I died.

Sunday, October 27, 2019

Protected

I love how you trip over your own two feet.
How you find a way to fall out of the seat.....after you've already gotten up but decided to try your luck.
To see where things get you.
Stretching beyond.
Into the darkness without a fear in the world.
I love how you leap over obstacles.
And encourage others to do the same.
To live life to the fullest.
And promise to eliminate the pain.
Or how you found your passion and express it daily.
When you spend all your time laughing gaily.
I love how you want to be loved and won't admit that you're scared to.
How you have a shield soo big, you think no one can get to you.
But it's a shield, not a wall.
I simply walk around to see that frown and turn it upside down.
To show you that the shield is a mirror and really, I am you.
To know you.
To show you.
I love you.

Too many times we shy away and close ourselves off because of certain things we see in others or even the world, not realizing that we're looking at a reflection of self. I used to see pictures of myself and the light looked soo dim. I used to look at the world and the people around me. There wasn't a light in sight. I sought to change that but I struggled. Tried my hardest to spark the light in others but things stayed dim. I tried harder but it still didn't work. I threw my hands up in defeat and I realized that the image I'd been seeing did the same. I'd been seeing myself the whole time. The world, the people in my life, they're all a reflection of ME. I changed me and my world changed. I bettered myself and my world lit up. I grew and I am happy!!❤πŸ’›❤

Sunday, October 20, 2019

If you knew

I wrote some poetry about us but I couldn't tell you.
The cuteness, the sweetness, the love, too much on the menu.
Where would I start?
What would I do?
How would I ever be able to show you?
There's soo many things I want you to see.
Soo many things that you do for me.
I smile when you hold my hand.
Because I know one day you'll understand
But right now, I'll just sit with you.
Waiting for the right time to say all the things that make me say "If you only knew......."

Sunday, October 13, 2019

Stigmata


Got that "Hey, girl. You busy?" Text coming through.
It's decision time. What to do?
"Nah, not at all." Is my quick reply when really I'm stressing and crying inside. My man left the house on a real sour note.
Well not really my man but pretty much the same boat.
Or maybe it's not.
I don't know it's confusing.
And distracting.
Guess I need some amusing.
But what could she want? Is she having some problems? Is there something she needs my help with solving?
"Okay, don't be mad but I have something to tell you...." is the next part of this. Well there goes my little bit of bliss.
No more playing ignorant. Acting like it's okay. She just sent me something set to ruin my day.
Don't be mad. Don't be mad. What kind of thing is that to say?
Of course, I'm mad. I don't know any other way. What did she do that I won't be pleased with?
"Girl, you good. Just tell me what's up."
The words seem so calm but my mind is messed up. Eternities pass before I hear the ping.
"Remember those pics you took, well they ended up online. You know maybe it just happened that one time?!"
Pictures?
Online?
One time?
Well who would they be for? What could have happened?
This isn't a text, this is a phone call emergency.
Should I call 911 or should I call my girl? Who could help me better if I needed to hurl?
Homegirl blabs in my ear but it goes in and out.
Something about the stigmas that society throws about.
The parts about moms not being naked or the sin of your body that you're born with.
The hell that comes from wanting others to see you or maybe love you or want you.
The confusion from never being taught properly before being allowed to take charge.
Or maybe it's only a problem because I didn't charge.
Maybe I should have had a price tag attached to my picture.
Is it better or worst when it pays my bills?!
I roll my eyes a couple of times. Dusting away these societal lines. It is what it is if it's already online.
Oh well, let's see if it blows my mind.
"Pictures? Let me see."
I eagerly await what she has to send me. Is my life ruined? Does it end at dawn?
Do I even care? "Wait, hold on."
But it's too late. My phone already pings.
Let's see the shame that this picture brings.
Society sucks I don't even care. Maybe I was just in my underwear. Or maybe I was naked. That happens sometimes. It's actually quiet a sight. Truly sublime. Maybe I wanted to share with another human. Maybe life happens but it's come back to haunt me. Let's see how bad.
It truly makes me a little sad.
To question everything I've ever done.
Everything under the sun. Before I ever gave birth to one. It is what it is. Let me just see the damage.
Hopefully, it's not too anticlimactic.
I stare for a few.
Turn my phone upside down and for the first time my smile turns upside down.
I open my mouth to say one more thing.
"Hmmm....that ain't even me."

Thursday, October 3, 2019

Inspiration K.H.

Because I listen when you talk to me.....
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πŸ’­πŸ’­πŸ’­
______
°I wish that you could see through my eyes.
°See you from me.
°But maybe we're not supposed to see.
°I think I'm supposed to show you through my actions.
°Paint the picture with my words.
°Look there, do you see those two birds?!
°They fly up higher and higher.
°No destination in sight.
°But they keep moving with all of their might.
°Headed to a place soo far away.
°With no idea how long they'll stay.
°They leave for the winter never leaving each other.
°They know that together, they'll make it through.
°Look there again, you see those two.
°Yeah, that's me and you

Wednesday, July 31, 2019

Interstellar: A Landon Falls Love Series

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07VXJ66Z5
Lisa has always been focused.
Focused on school.
Focused on adjusting to life in America.
Focused on reaching her goal of being an architect.
Lisa was living the life……until her dad decided to give her the ultimatum.

“Move back to Jamaica or get cut off financially.”

Determined to make it on her own, Lisa set out to prove she could take care of herself, starting with the job of a lifetime………with Thomas.

Enter Thomas Deneira.
He’s the complete package.
Own business.
Sexy smile.
Dimple.
Drama.
Thomas and Joy have been on the rocks for years but neither of them knew how to let go. When Lisa enters the picture, things go from bad to worse.

Interstellar is the exciting sequel to Shockwave, telling the story of a love triangle full of lies, deceit, and co-parenting. How could life ever be right in the life of a woman who has never owned anything? How could a man who doesn’t consider it cheating if it only happens one time ever be the man for Lisa? When Lisa meets Thomas, her world is turned upside down. Lisa struggles to love her little bundle of joy, Alexei, while trying to deal with Thomas and Joy. Could life get any harder? Is Lisa really happy with Thomas or is she using him as a way to stay in the United States? Torn between following the safe path with her parents or embarking on a dangerous one with Thomas, Lisa begins an interstellar journey, one where her life will never be the same.

Thursday, July 25, 2019

Snakes



You came here yesterday.
I don't know what you want me to say.
A snake bit you today?
So did one yesterday.
Have you been in the grass?
I told you to stay away.
Snakes live there.
They love to play.
And play.
And play until you go away.
I cant help you.
I don't know what you want.
The snake will bite you tomorrow too.
You're bandaged up.
Do you want the snake to see?
You just look like a meal to me.
The snake is not sorry.
There is no guilt.
The snake will bite your bandage with no remorse.
You want to show the snake you can forgive. That's nice.
The snake does not forget.
Snakes strike when you're weakest.
They want no forgiveness.
When you see what snakes are, listen.
The hiss tells you all you need to know. Gooooooooo!

Monday, July 22, 2019

Forever

I feel you even tho I don't know where you are.
Have you seen me?
Do you hear me?!
Can you feel me?
Have you passed me?
What do you look like?
Are we meant to be or is the string that binds us long enough for us to be apart forever....

Tuesday, July 16, 2019

Healing


 Don't mistake these scars for something else. I'm fully capable of handling myself.
These are not signs of battles lost.
They are just the price. I paid the cost.
I love these scars the way they are.
They're signs of how I've come so far.
My life is a therapy session at all times. Everything I'm going through, I'm growing through.
The my life is like an open wound right now.
Don't let the wording scare you.
It's wonderful.
It started as a papercut.
Painful and unnerving.
Every touch, every word, every look burning.
I dug deeeper as I yearned for the pain to go away.
Discarding every bandaid I used to think could mask the pain.
The wound it grew into cut deep to the bone.
No bandage strong enough to stop the bleeding.
All I could do is clean it.
Avoid infections.
And Disease.
And the Negative.
All I could do was heal.
The scars that come are beautiful.
Not flawless like before but the skin is brand new.
All mine to love and appreciate.
Because I know I did it the right way.
I'm waiting on this wound.
It'll take some time.
That's fine.
I'm worth the wait.
I'm still healing.



Saturday, July 13, 2019

My Sun


I love how are conversations are always about the sun and the moon.
Or the flowers in bloom.
Or the sand in out toes.
Or the rocks in our shoes.
Or how bedtime seems to come a little too soon.
I revolve around you like the sun to a planet.
Rising and setting in time for you.
One day, this will be you telling a planet of your own how the universe once seemed to small to you.
Like a sun to you, close enough to feel it's warm embrace.
But time has come and now you've grown.
Now you've become a sun of your own.
One day, you'll be a universe too, with open arms for planets growing lightyears after you. ❤

Thursday, July 11, 2019

I hope....

I hope you're happy and the clouds don't turn grey.
I hope your smile never turns anyone away.
I hope you laugh, even in moments alone.
I hope your happy in every ounce of every bone.
I hope that time spent comes with honesty and truth.
And occasionally, a joke that has some truth at it's root.
With some glow and some love and a little motivation,
I hope that you make it through every transformation.
I hope you find the one who knows who you are.
Every tear, every silence, every little scar.
The one who makes your world complete.
The one who knows you won't have to compete.
The one who helps you recover from it all.
The one who won't ever let you fall.
Before you begin to search near or far,
I hope you remember what you are.
Since hope isn't real, I'll say this instead.
I know you'll remember that all this is in your head.
You are that one that I hoped you would find.
The one who gets paired with someone just as divine.
A matched made in heaven of just you two.
The two of you, complete, meshing to become one.
A mirror to show what's cracks might exist.
Providing the glue to mend anything that needs fixed.
I know you've heard me and you've found the one.
The one who reminds you to shine your light long after the sun.

Wednesday, May 15, 2019

Motivation

All my life I wanted to be a motivational speaker.
Ha, I'm lying.
I probably just wanted to be a lion
....or a shark or something of the sorts.
Something bent on pride and protecting.
Something to inspire the countless minds.
Motivational speaking isn't for me.
I'm not nice as can be.
I pull and push and drag until you see what I see in you.
Until you complete the puzzle with me.
I love the flow.
I see how things go.
Take my hand, I'll show you the way.
I see the pieces that are missing here.
Look, there's on over there.
Way over there through the darkest abyss.
The space way away from this ignorant bliss.
No more porcelain faces and painted on smiles.
Time to go deep.
Things will be dark for a while.
But it's ok, I'll be here.
Ready to push and pull through the moments you can't bear.
See, squint with your eyes. Tilt your head a little.
That glistening there. That's the last piece that you need not fear.
Let's go, come on.
Don't make me pull you along.
Just jump over this canyon to get to your piece.
Just one little jump and you'll be complete.
No, don't run.
Don't be scared that you'll fall.
This canyon is only as big as you make it.
Take the leap of faith. I know you can take it.
One.
Two.
Three.
Please, jump with me.
You see these scars. I fell in my own canyon.
I made it wider than the Pacific because I wasn't thinking.
I didn't believe I could do what I'm asking you to do. I fell and fell thru the depths of hell.
The second time I jumped, it was shrouded in darkness. I kept my eyes open to see the other side.
The closer it got, the higher I'd fly.
I made it across just to get my last piece.
I made it.
I made it and you can too.
One more time, eyes wide open. Ill do it with you.
See, there you go.
You're soaring through the air.
I know I said I'd come but I can't go there.
This isn't my journey, dear.
Look at you. You did it all on your own.
Believed in yourself, with nothing to fear.
The canyon was actually an anthill right here.
You've got your last piece but now that you've found it.
You see what I've seen, you're already complete without it.
Sure, I'll hold your hand and sit here for a while.
We made it.
We made it.
Across canyons wide.
A smile on my face, maybe motivation does live within.

Sunday, May 12, 2019

Who's a mother?!

Today is such a special day. The creators of this world get recognized.....but it sparks so much controversy. Why does the definition have to be so limited when ALL women have the same nurturing abilities?! Some use them more than others, of course, but all are capable. It doesn't matter if you pushed out a child. As long as your nurturing spirit is alive, thriving, and inspiring, then this day is for you. Thank you to all the adoptive mothers, foster mothers, pet mothers, the aunts who act like mamas, the stepmothers, the Godmothers, the grandmothers, and the mothers who birth the children. You ALL are AMAZING!! That loss of sleep, the worrying, the countless prayers over the life of your baby, the hopes that your baby lives the longest happiest and healthiest life possible do not skip ANY mother. I appreciate you all. Keep up the good work. Keep nurturing. The world needs you. ❤

Thursday, May 9, 2019

Truth Telling Thursday-Body Shaming

Because body shaming is soo real......&& most of the time we're the ones shaming ourselves.
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πŸ˜ŸπŸ€”πŸ€¦πŸΎ‍♀️
______
Allow me to pick at myself a little bit....just a little bit. Like this muchπŸ‘ŒπŸΎ I spent way too much of my life thinking that something was wrong with me and I know I'm not the only one. I thought I'd share for all those that think they're alone.
______
πŸ˜¨πŸ˜”πŸ˜¨
______
Well, I questioned myself, && my creator, quite often about why I was made this way. My boobs don't really stop growing, even before my two pregnancies. I have no hips ((which used to be #hipdips before I started working out)). I'm 5'2 with a flat size 8 foot that grew to size 9 after I had my son. In the wrong shoe, my foot looks as long as Sideshow Bob's πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. From the front my thighs give a silhouette that makes it seem like I'm gonna have a big πŸ‘....but it ain't back there && I am more than okay with that.
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πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°
______
The love I have for myself has come from a longggggg journey that started in my teens. Throughout my teenage years I thought my head looked extra big on my skinny body, 114 lb body. I had no boobs and no butt so I dressed kinda tomboyish. I didnt see the point in dressing up when my body wasn't developing into anything anyways.🀨🀨 Enter my early 20s. I wasted those years wondering why all of the "wonderful" men I dated cheated on me with women that looked nothing like me. At this point, I had boobs and hipdips. No ass. Of course, I used some of my time during those years to mold myself in the gym determined to look like someone else.....anyone else. Any other shape I could get my body to be because the way I looked obviously wasn't working for my EX-boyfriends 😫😫😫 Along came✌🏾 pregnancies, between 20 and 30lbs of weight gain, and the saggiest stomach I've ever seen in my life. Most of my late 20s consisted of me pulling at my stomach. Poking and prodding myself as I thought about the fact that at 5'2 and 40 weeks and 4 days pregnant, I weighed 192lbs. 2 weeks post partum I weighed 170 but I still looked ((and felt)) 6 months pregnant. My new "mom bod" must have been the Ford Model T version. Where was the snap back?! Where was the flat stomach ((that I NEVER had to begin with))?! Where was the body that breastfeeding was supposed to help me get?! πŸ˜–πŸ˜–πŸ˜­πŸ˜­ My tv and social media were flooded with all these moms with 6 packs who drink flat tummy teas and go to the gym 10 days a week......that was all good and well.....for them but that wasn't my situation. I didn't have gym time. I barely even had 🚽Time or 😴time or just "me" time 🀬🀬🀬 what was wrong with me?! Why wasn't my body looking right?! Why didn't my dresses fit right?! Why are my shoulders so broad?! Was I supposed to be a linebacker ((I'm not even sure if they have broad shoulders, they're just the only position Ik other than a quarterback.....oh, ik defensive lineman too #GoMe))?! Either way, I had a problem πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜’πŸ˜’ It took me way longer than I care to admit that I was MY problem. There has never been anything wrong with how I look. I looked good. I always had. needed to see that I was made THIS way ON PURPOSE!!! I AM GOOD ENOUGH! I AM BEAUTIFUL ENOUGH! MY BODY IS THE BEST BODY FOR ME TO BE ME!!.....&& my "mom bod" was an upgrade. Best shape my body has EVER beenπŸ‘πŸΎπŸ‘πŸΎπŸ‘πŸΎ s/b I had to throw in a pic of me NOT sucking my stomach in πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ€·πŸΎ‍♀️πŸ₯°πŸ₯° Accepting myself led to bettering myself, inside && out!! #thatsme #YouareYOU #ThatisyourPOWER #Onlyyouintheworld #stopbodyshaming #selfloveEVERYday #Selflovematters #Truthtellingthursdays #shockwave #interstellar #Amazonbooks #availableonAmazon #blackmomsblog #blackwomen



Monday, May 6, 2019

Motivation Monday



Because the road to a better you, may be one that you go alone.
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πŸš—πŸš²πŸ›Ά
______
&& that's ok. The road you take is also okay too. It's your journey. Whichever you road you pick, just make sure it's the best one for you. The best way to do that is to be in tune with yourself. Know what you like, want, && need from an individual perspective. Not from a mom, significant other, work, or any other standpoint. Just you as you. What works for you?! You have to be selfish in the most selfless way.
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πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
______
That sounds crazy right? Like what does that even mean?! Selfish && selfless cannot coexist, right?! πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€” oh, they most definitely can. For example, if you need to eat, you need to eat. Take that moment to take care of yourself. To love yourself and nourish your body, even if that means stepping away from that big project at work for a few or arranging a moment for mommy to have ALONE. You need those selfish moments so you can selflessly throw yourself into what you've been doing. After your selfish moment, it's ok to go back to the project with fresh eyes and a renewed mind or to just sit down with the kiddos or whatever selfless, strong woman wave you were on before your moment. Ik it's easier said than done but it literally only takes a moment. A moment turns into a routine. Routines turn into habits. Habits are life changing.
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πŸ₯°πŸ₯°πŸ₯°
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When you're making all these changes, striving to be better, and progressing, the journey gets a little lonely. Don't lose faith or falter when ppl you know fall away. Don't be discouraged when the support doesn't come like it used to. Many times a fresh start is necessary. New people. New places. New things. All to suit your new habits. To shape your dreams. 😍😍😍 You got this, sis. I love you!!πŸ’“πŸ’“

Friday, May 3, 2019

Feature Friday!!!

Yessssssss, It's Feature Friday and I figured I'd start with MYSELF!!! Believing in yourself and self promotion is an important part of self-love. If I don't believe in my abilities, how can I expect you to?!
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πŸ“•πŸ“–πŸ“š
______
My book "Shockwave" tells the story of Joy. Joy's just a young woman trying to rebuild her life after heartbreak, heartache, and disaster. She thought things were over between her and Thomas when she got tired of his dog ways but Joy got the shock of her life when she got pregnant.....after a miscarriage. Now living life as a single mother, Joy struggles to find herself while learning to love and trust again......it's my story and the story of many women. All the things we got through but no one EVER talks about. You're NOT ALONE!! I've been through it too && if I haven't, I'm sure ik someone who has. #Letstalkaboutit #readaboutit #writeaboutit
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πŸ“’πŸ“’πŸ“’
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Dont forget to check out my next book. "Interstellar" dropping July 2019. We've heard Joy's side of the story......what does Lisa have to say about everything? πŸ€”πŸ€”πŸ€”https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B06XDXZQJN/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?dpID=51HDwp7A0WL&sr=1-1&ie=UTF8&refinements=p_n_publication_date%3A1250226011&keywords=shockwave&qid=1488773558&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QL65&dpPl=1&ref=plSrch

Wednesday, May 1, 2019

Black Woman, you are WONDERFUL!

So I know I've strayed away from the poetry but my words still hold the same weight.
My passion is still the same.
My feelings are still invested.
Today, I just want to say that the Black Woman is EVERYTHING!!
Sister, you are the Sun. The Moon. The Earth.
You are the end and the beginning.
You bring life and love to this world no matter how much this world tries to tear you down.
Do NOT forget yourself, sister. I will always be here to help you adjust your crown. You do not have to look for yourself in the movies, songs, or social media.
The gross under-representation of the Black Woman in all her glory, and all her shades, shows that this world still does not appreciate us.
Sister, I need you to look for you in the mirror.
See you.
See your beauty.
See your love.
See your worth.
You are worth it.
Today.
Tomorrow.
And every day that the sun rises.
So remember to LOVE YOU! I know I do!!

Sunday, April 28, 2019

C-Section Awareness Month

Because we know ALL mamas put their lives on the line....but for some reason SOME mamas tend to say C-sections aren't real labors.
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🀦🏾‍♀️🀦🏾‍♀️🀦🏾‍♀️
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Having a C-section doesn't mean you love your babies any less. Or you didn't carry your baby in your body. Or that you're any less of a mother. ❤πŸ₯°❤ Let's love ALL mamas. C-section mamas don't have any less of an experience than a natural delivery.
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πŸ”ŠπŸ”ŠπŸ”Š
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I was 4 days past my due date when I was induced. My labor lasted for 20 hours before I had to have a C-section. My baby's heartrate dropped constantly during my labor. My water broke and I dilated to 7cm but did not progress anymore than that. In total, my delivery lasted 22 hours before I could hold my baby in my arms. πŸ’™πŸ’™πŸ’™ The greatest moment of my life came because I allowed them to cut my body and take my baby out. I wouldn't change it for the 🌍🌎🌏 but I definitely appreciate natural birth mamas.


Because life moves that fast

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πŸ•§πŸ•žπŸ•—

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Sometimes I cry the happiest tears ever, well mostly happy tears πŸ€£πŸ˜‚, just thinking about it. I just became a mother......it feels like. One day he was a baby that i could hold in my arms. A blink ((&&3 years)) later, he's a kid that just wants to sit next me ((as I write this post)) && play "catch the popcorn". A kid that'll be getting ready for school soon. Then work. Then dating. Then whatever else life has in store for him. 😌😌 I'm just grateful that I get to witness it all #sundayreminders#mamamoment #womenwithkids#appreciationpost❤ #blackmomsblog#ilovemychildren❤️ #Shockwave #Interstellar

Thursday, March 21, 2019

The huddle

"Huddle time," a voice shouts.
Murmurs begin to whisper about.
It's that time again.
Same time every day.
It comes around so fast I forget it exist.
Wasn't it just this time yesterday?
Where did 24 hours go?
I wonder as i lean against the wall.
This very blah room could ruin anyone's day.
It simply was nothing but gray.
The furniture and walls just meshed into one.
Nothing existed in this room except numbers and machines.
Everyone falls in line all humdrum and sad, except for me.
My position is perfect.
This view is means for an escape.
I'm outside now.
Sitting under a perfect tree. With it's perfect green leaves and perfect brown bark. In the perfect shade. In the perfect grass. In the perfect sun. Putting sunflowers in my hair.
Watching ladybugs dance through the air, laughing and taunting the ants below.
"Oh silly ants, you don't know how to be free. All you do is labor on, like the worker bees. No fun is had. No dancing and laughing. Just work, work, work while the time just keeps passing."
A lady bug lands on my hand as I nod in agreement. Silly ants. They just don't know what to believe in. How can you labor all day while this beautiful, colorful world is here for you to enjoy?
"Let's go Meadow. Back to the grind," the voice floats. Pounding on my eardrums.
I shake my head as someone pushes me from behind.
I'm in line again in this gray, soulless room.
No longer outside enjoying the view.
I'm buzzing back to my desk and it cuts like a knife. I am the worker bee and the silly little ant.
I lose it all until next time.
'Til the next meeting.
Now back to the grind.

Saturday, February 16, 2019

Trailblazer's oath

See, I have found my purpose.
My whole reason for being.
It came at a time when things could not be seen.
In the darkest of nights, came the brightest light.
One that had no source in sight.
No electricity.
No candles.
No woods to burn in a shadowy flame.
It was just me, shining so bright.
If the darkness never came, I wouldn't have found my light.
I have found my purpose as I said before.
I'm here to keep the lights on for just a little more.
I'm the Shepard lighting the way for little, lost sheep.
They need to see their way home.
They need to see their way onto the next part of journey.
I light their way in the greatest of plight.
My purpose is simple and effortless, it is true.
But I think I have the most important duty to do.
For one of these could be the next Malcolm X.
One little sheep that could have done less had I not been there to light the way.
To spark their little heart's flame for them to see the day.
The day when they set their mind to making the impossible come true.
I am no ordinary Shepard. Please don't get confused.
I am a trailblazer. The path I light is different.
It's not well lit because it has not been paved yet.
I light the way for sheep that make trails of their own.
The beaten path calls no name that I know.
Me and my sheep all walk the same way.
Down paths that should have been filled with shame.
We own it and embrace it. Branded on us in pride.
Swimming through deep waters and climbing up hills, I light their flames again if they cannot maintain.
We keep going until we cant anymore. Only stopping when we reach death's door.
My sheep will continue if they live past me. Their new shepherd flame shines bright as can be.
I won't be forgotten because all shepard's are the same.
Shepard trailblazer, that's the name.

Monday, February 11, 2019

The interview: transcript

Interviewer: How did you get started writing?
Me: I've been writing. Been writing my whole life. Ever since I learned to write the alphabet.
((Laughter))
Interviewer: Ok, ok but how did you get started writing poetry?
((Silence))
Interviewer: Well.....oh no, you're at a loss for words?
((Silence))
((Papers shuffle))
Interviewer: What about writing books? Or the scripts you write? Your films are very successful.
((clears throat))
Me: I started....oh, and thank you for mentioning my films by the way...((clears throat again)).....well, I started with the hate that I held in my heart. I used to say poetry was like the lowest form of writing to me but I lied. I tried and it didn't work in my favor soo i tossed poetry to the side like a leftover. Like it meant nothing to me when in fact it was jealousy that made me act like a brat. Poetry allowed me to be the freest I could be. Painting pictures but ending it just long enough for it to be more like a cliffhanger. Leaving you wanting more when there is nothing left. Opening a door to a beautiful world only for you to step through the threshold and see it was merely a window next to another door and now you have to wait there until I give you more. My books go deep, deeper than my scripts. Only experienced swimmers need to read them. ((Waves hand back and forth)) Don't get me wrong. My poems ain't no kiddie pool. You'd be a fool to think that's where this goes. My poems are more like a puddle who's depth you'd never know until you step in and you either sink or swim. You see, I love poetry. I learned this recently. It's words with a rhythm over a beat. It may even be something you play on repeat. It's just a dance I do in my head and it becomes something I share instead. Akin to a beautiful ballad but not the same. This poetry thing has been calling my name. I got started because I heard the beat. I did my dance and now I can't stop my feet. The words just flow effortlessly. I know the moves without practicing. The beat changes and I go along with it. Until the song is over and I rest until the next one.
Interviewer: Wow didn't expect such a poetic answer.
Me: Well you know, it's what I do. Had to send an ode to a love that's true.
Interviewer: ((leans into the mic)) Stay tuned. There's more with Meadow after the commercial break. 

Saturday, February 2, 2019

What do you like?!

"Hey, woman. What do you like?"
I think for a second.
What do i like?!
What do i like?!
Well, i like to go where my man goes.
He likes to watch football and game shows.
He likes how i did it all before he came home.
He likes the clean house and the food i cook.
He likes that i took care of every nook.
He doesn't have to lift a finger.
He gave me this ring to always remember.
The look on your face says it all.
I'm sorry, did i say something wrong?!
Oh yes, now i remember.
You want to know what i like.
I like when my son goes to bed.
He lays his little head on my chest.
After a long day, he goes to sleep right away.
I like how he feels safe with me.
Or how he wants to read with me.
I like how his face curls up when i give him foods he finds yucky.
Or how he likes when i can't stand when he's muddy.
I like that he's pleasant and happy and nice.
Made with everything but sugar and spice.
I like that he's my son and this is my family.
I like how they're happy to see each other when my man and i get home from work.
I like how i do it all so they don't have to move a muscle.
I know they're tired from the hustle and bustle.
You're looking at me again.
Did i not answer the question?
Am i missing the point?
Do you have some suggestions?!
What do i like?!
Well i don't know.
I think you're the first to ask, ya know.
I guess if i had to choose it would be something simple.
I like little things.
I like the wind and the way it blows.
I like to sit in my window watching snow.
I like the sun and the way it makes the grass grow.
I like how my man looks at me when i know what he likes.
I like how my son reminds me that i can have a life.
I like how my family remembers that i matter too.
That i shouldn't get lost in the sauce just because i make a way for them to do the things they do.
I like how my body isn't quite the same since i last put on my wedding dress.
It's gotten quite used and abused before i tied my tubes.
I love how my man treats me like I'm soo damn fine and my child looks at me like I'm divine.
I like how i can wear all these hats and still be me.
I like how i don't get lost or doubted or shamed by society.
I like how i didn't lose my dreams after becoming a wife.....
Or a mother.
I like how i remain immersed in peace and serenity.

Most of all, i like me.

T&E Thursday part πŸ’¬

 πŸ₯΄πŸ₯΄ Let's just say the 1st 2 weeks were anomalies....πŸ€”πŸ€” or maybe this week is the anomaly because I have NOT been on it. Idk what ha...