Sunday, October 27, 2019

Protected

I love how you trip over your own two feet.
How you find a way to fall out of the seat.....after you've already gotten up but decided to try your luck.
To see where things get you.
Stretching beyond.
Into the darkness without a fear in the world.
I love how you leap over obstacles.
And encourage others to do the same.
To live life to the fullest.
And promise to eliminate the pain.
Or how you found your passion and express it daily.
When you spend all your time laughing gaily.
I love how you want to be loved and won't admit that you're scared to.
How you have a shield soo big, you think no one can get to you.
But it's a shield, not a wall.
I simply walk around to see that frown and turn it upside down.
To show you that the shield is a mirror and really, I am you.
To know you.
To show you.
I love you.

Too many times we shy away and close ourselves off because of certain things we see in others or even the world, not realizing that we're looking at a reflection of self. I used to see pictures of myself and the light looked soo dim. I used to look at the world and the people around me. There wasn't a light in sight. I sought to change that but I struggled. Tried my hardest to spark the light in others but things stayed dim. I tried harder but it still didn't work. I threw my hands up in defeat and I realized that the image I'd been seeing did the same. I'd been seeing myself the whole time. The world, the people in my life, they're all a reflection of ME. I changed me and my world changed. I bettered myself and my world lit up. I grew and I am happy!!❤💛❤

Sunday, October 20, 2019

If you knew

I wrote some poetry about us but I couldn't tell you.
The cuteness, the sweetness, the love, too much on the menu.
Where would I start?
What would I do?
How would I ever be able to show you?
There's soo many things I want you to see.
Soo many things that you do for me.
I smile when you hold my hand.
Because I know one day you'll understand
But right now, I'll just sit with you.
Waiting for the right time to say all the things that make me say "If you only knew......."

Sunday, October 13, 2019

Stigmata


Got that "Hey, girl. You busy?" Text coming through.
It's decision time. What to do?
"Nah, not at all." Is my quick reply when really I'm stressing and crying inside. My man left the house on a real sour note.
Well not really my man but pretty much the same boat.
Or maybe it's not.
I don't know it's confusing.
And distracting.
Guess I need some amusing.
But what could she want? Is she having some problems? Is there something she needs my help with solving?
"Okay, don't be mad but I have something to tell you...." is the next part of this. Well there goes my little bit of bliss.
No more playing ignorant. Acting like it's okay. She just sent me something set to ruin my day.
Don't be mad. Don't be mad. What kind of thing is that to say?
Of course, I'm mad. I don't know any other way. What did she do that I won't be pleased with?
"Girl, you good. Just tell me what's up."
The words seem so calm but my mind is messed up. Eternities pass before I hear the ping.
"Remember those pics you took, well they ended up online. You know maybe it just happened that one time?!"
Pictures?
Online?
One time?
Well who would they be for? What could have happened?
This isn't a text, this is a phone call emergency.
Should I call 911 or should I call my girl? Who could help me better if I needed to hurl?
Homegirl blabs in my ear but it goes in and out.
Something about the stigmas that society throws about.
The parts about moms not being naked or the sin of your body that you're born with.
The hell that comes from wanting others to see you or maybe love you or want you.
The confusion from never being taught properly before being allowed to take charge.
Or maybe it's only a problem because I didn't charge.
Maybe I should have had a price tag attached to my picture.
Is it better or worst when it pays my bills?!
I roll my eyes a couple of times. Dusting away these societal lines. It is what it is if it's already online.
Oh well, let's see if it blows my mind.
"Pictures? Let me see."
I eagerly await what she has to send me. Is my life ruined? Does it end at dawn?
Do I even care? "Wait, hold on."
But it's too late. My phone already pings.
Let's see the shame that this picture brings.
Society sucks I don't even care. Maybe I was just in my underwear. Or maybe I was naked. That happens sometimes. It's actually quiet a sight. Truly sublime. Maybe I wanted to share with another human. Maybe life happens but it's come back to haunt me. Let's see how bad.
It truly makes me a little sad.
To question everything I've ever done.
Everything under the sun. Before I ever gave birth to one. It is what it is. Let me just see the damage.
Hopefully, it's not too anticlimactic.
I stare for a few.
Turn my phone upside down and for the first time my smile turns upside down.
I open my mouth to say one more thing.
"Hmmm....that ain't even me."

Thursday, October 3, 2019

Inspiration K.H.

Because I listen when you talk to me.....
______
💭💭💭
______
°I wish that you could see through my eyes.
°See you from me.
°But maybe we're not supposed to see.
°I think I'm supposed to show you through my actions.
°Paint the picture with my words.
°Look there, do you see those two birds?!
°They fly up higher and higher.
°No destination in sight.
°But they keep moving with all of their might.
°Headed to a place soo far away.
°With no idea how long they'll stay.
°They leave for the winter never leaving each other.
°They know that together, they'll make it through.
°Look there again, you see those two.
°Yeah, that's me and you

T&E Thursday part 💬

 🥴🥴 Let's just say the 1st 2 weeks were anomalies....🤔🤔 or maybe this week is the anomaly because I have NOT been on it. Idk what ha...