I say all that to say, today, I sat down and evaluated my self to see just what was going on with me. I learned so much that I didn't give myself credit for.
- It is perfectly fine, and dare I say "normal" to have all of those feelings. I even sunk as low as to question my mothering because of other people and that is okay too. Life is rough. Things get hard and as humans, we will experience a wide array of emotions. The key is to KEEP PUSHING! You cannot exist in a negative state of being 24/7.
- Just how much I am NEVER alone....I mean PHYSICALLY alone. I realized that every hour or minute or second that I am awake, I am with someone else. I slowly felt my ability to think clearly slipping away. Everyone in my house had time to themselves. Even my toddler made time for himself to be alone and here I was, not following suit. After spending what should have been a great Friday evening with a funky attitude, I immediately owned up to my problem. Mama needs a break and I will be getting one, starting tomorrow!!! (Self-care day with some wonderful ladies, not exactly alone time but it is a break from having to think or take care of a human being.))
- How I was stunting my growth. I spent quite a great deal of time trying not to think or feel that I stopped my forward progression. I wasn't thinking about anything that required concentration. That meant no blog posts, book writing, exercising, nothing. Nothing that helped me meet my goals. I sat down this morning to redo my budget. I had a bad habit of allowing overspending to be a bad coping mechanism and I am working diligently to break that habit. Assessing my budget this morning let me know that my path to FINANCIAL FREEDOM ((insert bugle-horn here)) is still on track and I am overly excited. My brain has been bursting with ideas since, hence this post to more than likely overshare, and I am ready to get back to it.
It was a tough 2 months ((feeling more like a whole year)) but I am not allowing that to break me. I had to feel what was going on. Be alive in the experience. Flow with the emotions. I am here. I am smiling. I am doing more than surviving. I am thriving and I hope you all are too!!! Remember, all rainstorms end and the sun will shine again!!! Love*and* Light to you!