Tuesday, May 26, 2020

Queen Lee

The act of being fit for a queen.
The Queen.
The most important player one the team.
Taking hits to protect the kingdom.
Moving in every direction.
Setting of in any path she wants.
Claiming her birthright.
Making sure all is right.
The act of being fit for a queen.

Queen Lee

Tuesday, May 12, 2020

Pandemic reflections

I sit around thinking allllllll day long about the things I'd like to do. Listing them out like the very OCD individual that I am.

  • Write
  • Read
  • Clean
  • Posts pics
  • Take pics 
  • Quality time with my family 
  • Homeschool 
  • Eat
  • Sleep
Sleep being the most optional one 🥴🥴.....but of course I am getting enough sleep to function.....and quality time pauses my writing. Take this blog post for instance....I'm already on my 3rd "break" from writing to help my darling boy with things, like hugs and kisses or just to sit with him 😊😊. 

I came into this "quarantine" with the thought that I would be super productive and accomplish......🕝🕑🕜🕣okay, I'm back. Only took a 5 hour "break" 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️ As I was saying. Thought I would be super productive and accomplish everything on my list and more.

In all honesty, I've only now been able to get a handle on things. Even though it's been a dream of mine, homeschooling out of the blue kicked my butt. My son adapted quickly but I didn't. My dream of being a teacher quickly faded at age 10 when I didn't have the patience to "teach" the neighborhood children on my toy chalkboard. Of course, that couldn't have been accurate. I mean, I was only a child myself. I had to give it another try.

Age 18, a whole year into college ((insert student loan debt)) and teaching was NOT for me. 😱😱 But here I am at 31, teaching a preschooler who remembers more than I do about school. It's like:
Me: "Hey, honey. Wanna learn about fiction writing?! IG posts?! Something I'm actually good at?!"
((Blank stare for a few seconds))
Jamel: "Mom, I want to learn about the planets?! Why did they kick pluto out of the solar system?!
((Another blank stare from me at 31 NOT knowing when Pluto got kicked out but now knowing that we are mad at the scientists who kicked Pluto out since all Pluto ever wanted was to be a planet))
Me: "Okayyyy."
Of course, I spent a few late nights trying to create a curriculum that was educational, fun, challenging enough, and not frustrating for mommy AND child.

That alone took up all the productive energy I could muster up during this epidemic. I feel very accomplished but that definitely wasn't all that I planned to do during this time. Introspection has been front and center during this time as well. Taking up the rest of my energy period. How productive can one be when every day feels like Mercury retrograde, right?!

Exercise has gone on hiatus. I've finally weaned myself off the "quarantine" snacks ((although, I almost bought oreos to make deep fried oreos today. I think I miss carnivals the most 😭😭, especially funnel cakes but I can't make those)). I have been meditating and slowly building the energy back up. One thing I've realized is it's okay to not be "productive" during all of this. I mean the world is pretty much on pause for the first time in like EVER. It's okay not to know how to deal with that. I do know that it is okay to define productivity for YOUR situation. Hitting your personal goals are all that matter. My goal for today was to finish this post and I think I'm finally done.....guess it's time to create a plan for myself now. ❤


Early morning antics give me time to sit back and look at this ball of light that I've created.
Energy moving soo fast that the time past.
I'm wondering where it all went.
My memories flood back.
I remember that it went to the winter, and the fall, and the spring, and the summer before that.
The one where I taught you how to act and walk and talk.
I watched you smile and sleep.
Now you're out here teaching me about the shapes, the colors, the stars and the moon.
How to soar.
How to just be more.
How to stand tall in my purpose, even when I'm a little nervous.
I love you more than you could imagine.
The greatest being that ever happened.
Every day with you is special.
Every day takes the cake.
Every day feels like Mother's Day!!!

T&E Thursday part 💬

 ðŸ¥´ðŸ¥´ Let's just say the 1st 2 weeks were anomalies....🤔🤔 or maybe this week is the anomaly because I have NOT been on it. Idk what ha...