Monday, July 20, 2020

Style, please

Because when you look good, you feel good!
Me and my friends have this conversation quite often. We uplift each other with words and speak straight to each other's spirits but at the end of the conversation, we make sure to account for what we've done for ourselves!!
In an effort to maximize my self love efforts, I did a whole wardrobe do over. My closet was full of clothes that I either liked but never really wore, bought because one day I would be the right body size to fit in it, or I bought it because I wanted the courage to change my style but never actually went through with it. The end result of years of shopping was a closet full of things that weren't "ME". πŸ₯΄πŸ˜£πŸ˜ž πŸ§₯πŸ§¦πŸ‘—πŸ‘šπŸ‘™ Piece by piece, I changed that. When I bought a new shirt, I found an old one that had to go. If it didn't fit "ME" today, I got rid of it. I noticed that the clothes on my body felt increasing more comfortable as I increased my love for the "style" I'm in. 😍😍 Getting dressed is a must for me most days ((some days, comfort is all that matters, like today when I'm in yoga pants and a tank prepped for the yoga I did NOT do this morning πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚)) because I know that if I start the day putting effort into my self, I remember my value throughout the day. I appreciate my value. I invested in my self from the very beginning of my day. It stems into the rest of my choices. I make conscious decisions to eat better, choose my words better, sleep better, laugh more, love more, live well!! It's a ripple effect on the rest of my day every time I start it by taking time to make sure I look as good as I feel and vice versa. I was faking it when the journey first began but day to day it becomes more true. More effortless. When you look good, you feel good and no matter how good I look, I always feel better than I look 😊😊

Sunday, July 12, 2020


Marriage is about committing to growth. People tend to commit to who the person is at the time without allotting room for change......just sharing my thoughts. I'd like to think I know something about marriage considering it's something I want.
Considering it's something I did before....for all the wrong reasons. But that's just it. Next time will have to be right. Because I've done it wrong so many times.
Relationship after relationship down the drain. Time I'll never get back but of course it's all with a smile. It's like cutting all your hair off for a fresh start.
Next time I'll have more experience. Next time I'll have more understanding. Next time I'll be patient.
Patiently waiting.....but there really is no such thing as wrong. There's just either you tried or you didn't. I didn't try before.
I ran.
I cowered.
I hid.
I pretended.
Fake smiles.
Forced happiness.
Shrunken personalities.
Everything except a good ol' try.
Everything except showing my real self.
There's no wrong. There's only a wrong time. It wasn't a waste. It was just too early for one of us. Patience is a virtue that you can't have when you're rushing. I wanted you as you are....and then were because time passed but we didn't grow.
Now we can't go.....any farther that this. There's no such thing as bliss. There is realness and acceptance of where we are and where we want to be. Is it there trust?! Are we free to be whoever we want to be?! Is this big enough for you and me?!
I thought I wanted marriage but this sounds more like unity.
No bondage.
I just want to be free.
I just want to be me....with you!

Wednesday, July 8, 2020

John Wick

You... uh..."working" again?

John Wick:
No, just sorting some stuff out.

Except.....I am working again. Working harder than ever. In more ways than I expected. I'm still trying to figure out where I found the time but I don't dwell on it because I am BEYOND grateful that I found the time.

Found the time to meditate daily.
Found the time to say my affirmations daily.

Found the time to write BOOK NUMBER 3 ((shameless plug😏😏)).

Found the time to manage 3 IG accounts && continue to share the rawest pieces of me, little by little.
Found the time to raise my child.

Found the time to live life with him. Appreciate the sun and fun with him.
Found the time to have mommy friends.
Found the time for playdates and health and sleep.

Found the time to eat ((because moms rarely have that)).

I even found time to myself.

This post was for gratitude and reflection and a moment to pat myself on the back and give myself a hug.
I found the time to find balance and that was my greatest achievement of all.

I listen to my self and my body.

I hear the cues for tired, emotional, unhealthy, anxiety ((which has been on high lately)), stressed, projecting, and taking on feelings or behaviors that aren't my own.

Breaks happen often. Sometimes days pass without me "working" again but I hear the cues when it's time to get the ball rolling.

I found the key. I realized that balance isn't a lack of down days or a constant happiness or high. It's going with the flow. Embracing the ups and the downs while not letting either one last long enough to burn me out or kill my creativity or make me forget to focus.

I found my flow. Like any other flow, there are some moments when it's free flowing like the ocean or wild like the Rapids or slow like a small creek or blocked like a dam is in the way.

Each day I appreciate the flow as it is.
That is key.πŸ’–

T&E Thursday part πŸ’¬

 πŸ₯΄πŸ₯΄ Let's just say the 1st 2 weeks were anomalies....πŸ€”πŸ€” or maybe this week is the anomaly because I have NOT been on it. Idk what ha...