Sunday, July 12, 2020


Marriage is about committing to growth. People tend to commit to who the person is at the time without allotting room for change......just sharing my thoughts. I'd like to think I know something about marriage considering it's something I want.
Considering it's something I did before....for all the wrong reasons. But that's just it. Next time will have to be right. Because I've done it wrong so many times.
Relationship after relationship down the drain. Time I'll never get back but of course it's all with a smile. It's like cutting all your hair off for a fresh start.
Next time I'll have more experience. Next time I'll have more understanding. Next time I'll be patient.
Patiently waiting.....but there really is no such thing as wrong. There's just either you tried or you didn't. I didn't try before.
I ran.
I cowered.
I hid.
I pretended.
Fake smiles.
Forced happiness.
Shrunken personalities.
Everything except a good ol' try.
Everything except showing my real self.
There's no wrong. There's only a wrong time. It wasn't a waste. It was just too early for one of us. Patience is a virtue that you can't have when you're rushing. I wanted you as you are....and then were because time passed but we didn't grow.
Now we can't go.....any farther that this. There's no such thing as bliss. There is realness and acceptance of where we are and where we want to be. Is it there trust?! Are we free to be whoever we want to be?! Is this big enough for you and me?!
I thought I wanted marriage but this sounds more like unity.
No bondage.
I just want to be free.
I just want to be me....with you!

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